I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize