I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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