I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
