They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
