I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
