I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
