dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
