Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
