Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
