i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
