I want to walk on stilts...naked
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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