did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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