I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
