I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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