im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
