rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wear drunk well.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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