Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
