Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
