literally had 100 drinks last night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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