12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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