Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
