im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
