All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
