Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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