She said she wanted to have closure sex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
