Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
