Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
