i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
