I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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