Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
