I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
