Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
