Someone shit on the floor
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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