you guys were way drunker than both of me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
