When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
