I want to have your abortion
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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