Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
