i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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