He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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