She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
