So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
