i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
