It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
