Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
