dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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