The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
