I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
