I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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