I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
