So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
