She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This is my life. Enjoy the view
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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